Commander Solo
by LERDM
Summary: Ben Solo never became Kylo Ren, never joined the First Order, but instead fights for the resistance alongside his parents. But just because he didn't join the First Order, doesn't mean he didn't turn to the dark side, something Leia and Han are going to have to face when they discover what exactly their son does in the shadows of the resistance. Takes place before and during TFA
1. Chapter 1

Ben woke covered in a cold sweat, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and held his head in his heads, it was only then that he noticed another presence in his room. He looked over and saw his father, Han Solo, hovering near the door, looking at a loss of what to do.

"Ben..." He started, not sure what to say, he hadn't known Ben still got nightmares like he used to.

Ben ran his long fingers through his hair and sighed, he stood while grabbing a mostly clean shirt from the floor and putting it over his head and promptly left the room. Han watched him go with an empty feeling in his stomach.

Ben slipped on his running shoes and started running around the base, going just fast enough that all he had to think about was breathing. Not many people were awake, after all, it was roughly 5:30 in the morning, but those who were sent him slightly fearful glances. Eventually he landed back at his private quarters where he desperately hoped that his father wasn't still there. When he entered and saw that Han Solo had indeed left, a little part of him sunk, but he brushed it off.

He slipped into the shower where he turned the water up so high that it hurt and he tried to let the steam clear that night's horrors from his mind, it didn't quite work. He got changed into plain black pants with a white shirt which was not quite buttoned up all the way and he headed out of his room towards a meeting which was taking place about five minutes from then.

Ben walked into the room, which was already mostly full, with his hands held behind his back and head held high. He was aware that his posture intimidated people, but that was their problem not his. He firstly noticed his mother standing at the opposite end of the table than him. The meeting was about a prisoner that they were currently holding, he wasn't giving up anything about what the First Order was planning.

Then, all eyes fell to Ben, "I can get it from him if it's there." He said tonelessly and Leia raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

The meeting was quickly adjourned after that and Ben began to head to where this prisoner was being held, but then it came to his attention that his mother was walking beside him, looking at his face with concern.

"Ben." She greeted softly.

"Madame General." He greeted formally, emotionlessly, not even turning to look at her.

"We didn't hear that you came back last night, was the mission successful?" She asked.

"Yes, without failure on all parts." He said, his face still closed off, giving no indication of what he was thinking to his mother.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I suggest that if you'd like to remain blind to exactly what is I do to these people that you leave now." He said quickly and precisely.

Leia was taken aback by the sudden outburst, she had been the one to request that she never hear of the things her son was involved with, so she could remain impartial in her job, but it was clear that Ben thought she just didn't care about him much. She nodded numbly and stopped walking, watching her son enter the interrogation room with a fascination.

Truth be told Leia was afraid of her son, if only a little, but she could not deny that she was. It wasn't because she had seen him do something or read one of his reports, which she never did, always handing it off to someone else, she was afraid because everyone else was. She was not oblivious to the way everyone looked at him when he walked into a room, or how she had occasionally heard snippets of her pilots praising him for his brutality and kill count.

Leia looked back up to the door, and decided to take a look, just for a second, just to reassure herself that Ben wasn't anything to be afraid of, then she would go on with her day, just a peek. She opened the door into the room behind the one way glass and saw that Poe Dameron was standing there watching.

"Oh, General Organa, are you sure you want to be here?" He asked with confusion, he spoke to her with warmth that one might've expected from their child. Although to be fair, after the death of Poe's parents when he was 10, Leia and Han had taken him in, almost adopting him while Ben was off training with Luke. Leia figured it was the least they could do for Poe's parents, Ben hadn't seen it that way.

Leia didn't respond to Poe's query, instead she asked him, "Why are you here?"

"Ah well, this guy killed three of my best pilots and I uh, I wouldn't mind watching him get what's coming to him." Poe admitted.

Leia was about to ask what he meant but then Ben walked into the other room with the prisoner the, sleeves of his white shirt pushed up to his elbows, he sat on the other side of the white table so that his back was towards Leia and Poe there was silence for a while before Ben spoke.

"I hear you have information regarding the movement of First Order troops across the Hosnian system, and that you know of a spy within the resistance." He said.

The man across from him said, "I won't tell you, or anyone else anything!"

Ben let out a deep chuckle that sent a shiver down Leia's spine and said, "Lucky for me I don't need you to say anything."

He reached out his hand and shut his eyes in concentration, and Leia watched as the man's face turned from confusion to pain. Leia's face was as white as a sheet as the man started to scream in pain, this lasted for mere moments before Ben stood and retracted his hand, "Thank you." He said, it was chilling.

Leia quickly left the room and walked towards where she knew Han would be, working on the falcon in the hangar bay. She quickened her pace, not wanting to think about how many people her son has done that to, or how she thought she heard Poe comment that it was 'shorter than usual'. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about what else she didn't know.

When she finally made it to the bay she was relieved to see Han sitting with Chewie on the ramp of the falcon, Han smiled and waved at her as she approached, but his smile faltered as he saw her expression, Leia saw him say something to Chewie, who got up and went inside.

"Han." Leia breathed out, pulling him into an embrace.

"Leia, what's wrong?" Han asked, rubbing gentle circles on Leia's back.

"Do you... do you know what Ben does?" She asked, taking a seat on the ramp.

"What do you mean?" Han asked with confusion.

"What sort of missions does he go on? What does he do Han? It's like everyone's afraid of him." She said.

"Leia, I'm not sure what's gotten into your head, but everyone looks at you like that too, you can be pretty scary, and-" Leia cut him off with a swift jab to the arm, "Ow! What was that for?"

"Han." She said seriously and he sobered up, "I just watched him torture someone." She said quietly, but Han heard her, and he wished he hadn't.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Yesterday we caught a First Order officer who supposedly knew of a double agent within the resistance, Ben was supposed to interrogate him, but... he used the force to rip open the man's mind." Leia paused, "It was terrifying Han, _I_ was terrified."

Han was silent for a moment before putting his arm around his beautiful wife, "Leia, we knew that this might happen, we knew when we decided to stay out of it, we knew that he might... hurt people."

"I know I just-" Leia stopped talking as Ben entered the hangar with Poe to his left and another recruit who Leia couldn't put a name to, to his right.

He was walking towards someone in particular, one of the newer recruits who had just joined up a few months ago, they were talking to a fairly high ranking officer, Nevarez was his name Leia thought. They turned to face Ben and Nevarez visibly paled, the other young man quickly took off in a sprint while Nevarez shot his blaster at Ben.

Ben raised his hand and suddenly Nevarez found he couldn't move, and he, like everyone else marveled at the blaster bolt which was frozen in mid air. Ben did not stop to admire his work, and instead took off after the other man.

Han and Leia quickly jumped to their feet and hurried after their son, not knowing what they would do when (if) they caught up, but just knowing that they had to be there, to see.

The man, closely followed by Ben ran out of the hangar into the torrential downpour that was the weather at the moment, the man looked around and stopped running, knowing he wouldn't be able to get away on foot. He turned to face Ben and reached into his jacket and pulled out a lightsaber, which surprised Ben, and also the crowd that had come out to watch, which included Han and Leia. Ben then pulled out his own lightsaber and pressed the ignition, his lightsaber, to some people's surprise was red. Of course, Han and Leia knew this, they had been there when Ben had first made it, he had told them that the red crystals often contained more power than the others, hence his choice, which they understood, but it didn't make watching him using it any less ominous.

The fight began with Ben making the first move, they blocked each other's strikes easily, and Leia thought she saw a grin on Ben's face as he started a new flurry of attacks, which were not so easily blocked by his opponent, it was beginning to be clear that Ben had the upper hand, not that that really had any calming effect on Leia or Han, who were watching with baited breath.

"Who trained you?!" Ben demanded, towering over the man who he had just thrown to the ground.

The man stumbled as he stood up and stuttered as he spoke, "P-p-please, he-he said he'd k-k-kill me if I d-d-didn't do this."

" _I'm_ going to kill you if you don't tell me who sent you right now." Ben said angrily.

"It was s-s-Snoke." He said and the words made Ben's body visibly tense, he raised his hand to the man's head and he forced his consciousness into the back of his mind.

"Detain him, I'll interrogate him later." Ben commanded to a couple troops standing nearby.

Leia watched the crowd part for her son, whose face was dark and deep in thought, she pulled Han along with her as she followed Ben back into the hangar. Han watched how Leia looked after Ben, with desperate hope, it reminded him of when Luke's academy fell and they thought Ben was dead.

"Ben! Wait up!" Han called.

Ben stopped and Han and Leia could almost _hear_ him roll his eyes in annoyance, when he turned to face his parents he was surprised to see that they were not angry, but concerned.

"Are you alright, he didn't hurt you did he?" Leia asked gently.

"I'm fine." He responded simply.

"Nice moves kid." Han said proudly, Ben did not indulge him with any facial expression.

Leia sighed, "Ben I-"

"You watched me with that prisoner didn't you?" He asked, a slight smirk playing on his lips, "What, did I scare you?" He asked, with a slight mocking tone.

"Ben..." Han started with a slightly angry tone. "Your mother just wants to understand."

"Well, I apologize in that case, but as I recall, you were the one who said you didn't want to know, what changed?" Ben asked.

Leia bit her lip as she thought of a response, and eventually she said, "Because I miss knowing you." She paused before continuing, "Ever since you came back from... from the academy you've been different, and I've never asked you what happened because you, well you seemed like you didn't want to talk to anyone, but it's been years and... I want to know." Leia said.

Ben simply stared at them for a few moments before saying, "Follow me."

He lead them down the long, seemingly endless hallways until they reached his quarters. They entered and Han, who had just been there that morning and often visited the room was no surprised by anything he saw, but Leia, who had never actually been in Ben's room was very surprised. There was nothing personal, not a single picture, and it was immaculate but clearly not because Ben was a neat person, but because nearly nothing in there had been used before.

Leia shouldn't have been so surprised, Ben was gone on missions all the time, and if the file on his coffee table was anything to go by, he was about to leave again.

"What's this?" Han asked, picking up the file.

Ben took it from his fathers hands and placed it back on the table, "My next assignment."

"Where to, somewhere nice I hope." Leia said, trying to make small talk.

"Jakku actually." Ben said while pouring three glasses of water, he then sat ridgedly in his chair across from his parents.

"Ben, you can relax, it's just us." Han said, which only managed to make Ben even more tense if that was possible.

"What is it you want to know?" Ben asked.

"What happened at the Jedi temple." Leia told him with conviction.

Ben sighed, but nodded, "I don't know how they knew where we were, but they came at us with nearly an army. It was completely unexpected, but yet the timing seemed... planned." Ben said, choosing his words very carefully.

"What do you mean?" Han asked.

"Well..." Ben trailed off apprehensively, but sighed and continued, "Luke was done training me, I was going to fly home the next morning and surprise you, but then... well, you know."

"What do you mean he was done training you?" Leia asked, "Did he appoint you as a Jedi Knight, or a master?"

"No." Ben said firmly, and slightly louder than necessary, "No," He started again softer, "I never had any intention of being a Jedi."

Leia's eyes widened in disbelief, while Han seemed unsurprised, "Why didn't you tell us that, we would have never-"

"Never what?" Ben interrupted, "Never sent me away to stay with someone I barely knew because you were afraid of me? Afraid of a 12 year old boy?" He stopped, "Afraid of your son?" He asked, his perfectly calm voice breaking with emotion for the first time in recent memory. "I never wanted to be a Jedi, it was no secret. If you had ever asked I would have told you."

Leia was stunned, she was sure what she was hearing was wrong, but yet as she searched her memory she could never recall asking him that question that was now echoing in her head. She looked up and made eye contact with her son, and she tried to look into his eyes, into them, not through them like she had done in the past. What she saw was sleepless nights, faint echos of an ominous voice, darkness, light, pain, so much pain, and then suddenly nothing, his open face shut again and Leia saw the all too familiar facade of nothingness.

"Ben, those nightmares you used to have as a kid... what were they?" Han asked.

Ben's jaw clenched and his shoulders tightened, for a moment his facade crumbled, but a moment was all it was as his cool exterior quickly replaced itself and his reply came, "A test of my patience, much like this conversation. Now, _Generals_ if you'll excuse me I'm leaving for my assignment in six hours and would like some rest before I leave." He stood and waited for his parents to stand before escorting them to the door and shutting it behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben never quite got to sleep after his parents left his quarters that afternoon, but instead he was focused on the mission ahead. Six years ago, when Ben had officially joined the resistance, he took it upon himself to take the difficult missions, the ones that no one wanted for fear it would haunt the after the war was over. That was how he quickly became one of the resistance's most powerful members, by preforming the necessary evils, assassinations, interrogations, and on occasion brutally precise military attacks. But this mission was different, he was being sent to retrieve a piece of a map supposedly to Luke.

Ben and Luke never really saw eye to eye on many things, Ben would regularly use the 'dark side' of the force, which he saw no problem with as long as he was doing it for the 'right reasons'. Luke saw darkness in Ben since he was a young child, he was emotional, passionate and strong-willed, none of those traits are something to be desired in a jedi, but by the time 12 year old Ben started his training they were already too cemented into him to change, thus leading to a struggle between what he _knew_ was right and what he _felt_ was right.

The nightmare's didn't help either, often coming to him when he was most vulnerable. Voices would say things he wanted to hear, and a dark figure spoke wise words in his ear. There was a time where he was considering running away to join the first order, but then he had a dream of a world shrouded in darkness, of a black mask suffocating him, and he knew then that he could never go through with it.

Even though Luke and Ben were not the best of friends, Ben knew they needed him on their side. He could feel a dark presence growing, slowly, but growing nonetheless. Ben knew that he wasn't enough, as much as it pained him to know.

Ben put on his black flightsuit and grabbed a black scarf to help protect against potentially dangerous sandstorms and he headed towards the flight bay. Never did it cross his mind that this mission might've been compromised by the double agents that had just been exposed that morning.

* * *

Leia woke with a start, call it a mothers instinct, but she instantly knew Ben was in trouble. She threw on her uniform and nearly ran down the hallway to where one of her most trusted friends, and fellow general, Amara, was sitting. General Amara was the name she remembered seeing on the file in Ben's room.

"Ah, General Organa, early morning?" Amara asked.

"General Amara, where is Ben?" Leia asked quickly.

"Leia, wasn't it you who personally requested that these files be closed to you?" Amara asked with confusion.

"I know, I know, but Amara, please, I can feel it, he's in trouble." Leia said, she could feel panic start to seep into her bones as Amara's face turned into a pitiful one.

"Leia, Ben is on Jakku, retrieving a piece of the map to Luke." Amara said, and instantly Leia's heart sunk, she understood the gravity and the danger of this mission, "We haven't heard from him, although that's not unusual for him, he always turns off his communications when he's out."

Leia nodded, but that _feeling_ remained, dread still had it's grip on her heart. Knowing she couldn't handle this alone, she went to wake Han just to see if he had any insight into the manner.

* * *

Ben was sitting cross-legged in front of Lor San Tekka, who he was quite familiar with, an ex-resistance scout and follower of the Church of the Force, San Tekka had come to Luke's Jedi temple several times with ancient lore and knowledge.

"This will begin to make things right. I've traveled too far, and seen too much, to ignore the despair in the galaxy. Without the Jedi, there can be no balance in the Force." He said and it took all Ben had not to roll his eyes.

"This will be monumental in our search, the General has been after this for a long time." Ben said and San Tekka raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, well your mother may be a general, but to me she'll always be royalty." San Tekka said.

"Well she certainly is _that_." Ben muttered so that San Tekka couldn't hear.

San Tekka seemed like he was about to say something else when all of the sudden Ben's BB-8 droid rolled in and let out a series of alarmed beeps, which Ben knew meant that there was trouble coming.

Ben looked out of the tent and saw lights on the horizon, "We've got company." He said, exiting the tent and grabbing his night vision goggles, he looked towards the incoming lights and saw more cruisers full of stormtroopers. His head was spinning with thoughts, he couldn't deal with that many stormtroopers on his own, and it was too late to call in any backup.

"You need to leave." San Tekka said, now standing beside Ben. Ben looked at the old man, took a deep breath, nodded and took off towards his X-wing.

He quickly jumped into the pilots seat and started the engines, unfortunately for him, it had seemed like the stormtroopers noticed the X-wing as they began to shoot at him. It wasn't soon after that a critical part of the engine was destroyed "Dammit!" Ben shouted to himself.

He slid down the ladder and turned to see the village burning in the near distance, he then turned to BB-8 and handed the droid the piece of the map, "You keep this away from them, you got that?"

BB-8 beeped sadly, "Go." Ben said, reaching into his cloak and pulling out his lightsaber. Ben sighed as he looked at their sheer numbers, and he thought back to his last words to his mother, he was mocking her, it made him angry to think that those would be his last words to them, he supposed he would just have to make sure that they weren't.

He activated his lightsaber and it began. He sliced into the first two storm troopers and deflected blasts from two others. Eventually the battle turned into a rhythmic dance for Ben, he didn't know how many he had killed, but it began to seem like for every stormtrooper he dispatched two ore took their place. he outcome of this struggle inevitable, but Ben resented that it happened so soon. From a fair distance, one of the stormtroopers shots managed to sneak past him, and hit his left leg.

Ben cried out in pain and went down on one knee, just in time to see the captain of the troopers come out from her ship, Phasma. She raised her gun and brought it own on his head, he grunted and fell to the ground, he tried to push himself up, only to be hit in the head again, this time effectively knocking him out.

* * *

Leia was 'freaking out' as Han put it, and Han wuld be lying if he didn't feel at least some panic setting in.

"Leia, princess, look at me." He said to her, "Ben is going to be just fine." He said, though a certain memory came to mind, "Do you remember when he came back injured, and you never wanted him to go out again?"

"I should've just done that." Leia said sadly.

"No, no, that's not my point... just listen." Han said and began his tale...

*Flashback*

Ben was laying on his back on one of the med bay beds, he was nearly too long to fit on the bed, one of his legs was hanging off the edge and his arms were splayed all over the place. He wasn't wearing a shirt because the injury was on his abdomen, and when Han and Leia heard the news and they ran down to see him, Han's first thought was 'wow, Ben's ripped', which is something he would have never assumed based on the boys skinny frame.

Leia brushed his dark hair from his face, "Oh Ben." She sighed, a single tear falling down her cheek, the doctor then came by and Leia started talking to her about Ben's treatment. Han didn't really care what the doctor had to say, preferring to stay with Ben.

It was just his luck that Ben began to stir just as Leia left the room with the doctor, his breathing started to become a bit quicker. Suddenly he sat up, which was a mistake as that seriously irritated the injury.

"Ugh." Ben grunted in pain, clenching his jaw to keep from any other pained noises from coming out. Han was surprised to see fear written on his son's face, an emotion Han hadn't seen from his son since he was a child.

"Ben." Han said, standing there awkwardly, not exactly sure what to say.

Ben looked at him, his eyes were bloodshot, and there was dried blood on the side of his face, "Dad?" He asked, and Han smiled widely, that was the first time Ben had called him anything other than General in months.

"Yeah Ben, I'm here." Han said gently.

"What happened?" Ben asked quietly.

Han looked at him with a little surprise and said, "You tell me kid."

"I remember, I... dispatched the target, I was leaving when some First Order loyalist recognized me. I was just going to make him forget he saw me, but then he-he threw a _knife_ at me! I mean who even _uses_ knives! So then of course I have a knife in my stomach and it was just my luck that five guards turned the corner," Ben let out a deep chuckle, "So I jumped out of the window, although I forgot how high up I was, luckily I landed on a cruiser and lost the First Order in the mess of traffic, but it took me a while to get back to my ship."

Han laughed and Ben cracked a smile, "So let me get this straight... a crazy guy threw a knife at you, and you, the crazier guy, responded by jumping out of a window?" Han asked humorously.

Ben laughed slightly and said, "Yeah I guess I am the crazier guy in that story."

Han said, "You guess?" and he laughed again, though Ben seemed done with humor, "You know, you remind me a lot of me when I was your age." Han said and Ben gave him a curious look.

"Do you," Ben shook his head and corrected, " _Did_ you ever feel like you were empty, like... like the only time you feel alive is when you're running for your life?"

Han's eyes widened, he _did_ know. Ben had perfectly summed up what he felt everyday when he was younger, before he met Leia. Ben perfectly described the absolute loneliness _he_ had always felt, it was a result of having no one who loved him, which he knew thanks to the time Leia made him go to a therapist, something he still did every once in a while. Hearing this from Ben, however, was not something Han was prepared for. He knew Leia and him were not the best parents, not the most devoted, Leia was busy and Han was gone a few too many times, but they loved their son. This was the first time Han had considered that maybe that hadn't been enough.

Han was about to reply with some sort of anecdote about how meeting Leia turned it all around for him, or how running from your problems wasn't the answer, but then Leia came back in with the doctor and started talking to Ben, whose slightly disappointed gaze lingered on Han for a few moments before his face returned to the cold mask it always was.

Han never continued the conversation.

*End Flashback*

"Oh Han, it's okay, a few words wouldn't have changed anything. He was already in too deep." Leia comforted, sensing how upset Han was even though he wasn't showing it.

"I know I just... what if I had been there?" Han asked no one in particular, "What if I had missed one less bedtime, one less family dinner? What if I had done like I promised and picked him up from that goddamned jedi academy when he called me?!" Han said, working himself up into a angry rant.

"Han... calm down, there's nothing we can do about it now." Leia said and sighed, "You know... I never should have sent him away, that's when I lost him... when I lost both of you."

"You haven't lost me princess, I'm right here." Han said with a faint smile, it wasn't convincing.

"You know in all of our fights, we've always come back stronger, but that one... we still haven't healed. Maybe... maybe when Ben gets back we can all heal together?" Leia spoke tentatively.

Han looked at her hopefully, "I hope so."

* * *

Authors Note: WOW! Thank you guys for all the support, it means a lot. Please review/rate/comment! It really motivates me to write faster!


	3. Chapter 3

Ben woke strapped down in a cold metal chair, the room around him was grey and the lighting was bright... too bright for his liking at the moment. He wanted to close his eyes again, but then a tall, gangly ginger-haired man entered the room followed by four stormtroopers.

"So you are the infamous Commander Solo, I must say I'm impressed. You have managed to get information from every one of our people you interrogated, and you managed to kill nearly 50 stormtroopers while on Jakku last night." He said.

Ben had no immediate response, but upon getting a better look at the officer he realized he recognized his face, "General Hux... you know, the resistance could use at least a fraction of the organization you bring to your starship." Ben paused, "The double agents, that was good too." Hux looked at Ben with confusion for a brief moment.

"Perhaps you would like to be part of the winning organization?" He proposed.

Ben let out a dry, throaty laugh, "Believe me, I've thought about it."

"Well, my orders are to wear you down until you succumb to the dark side." Hux said, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the level of... friendliness from Commander Solo.

Ben began to laugh wildly, at least in part due to his exhuasted state, "Yeah, well you can tell your master... uh Snoke wasn't it? that I already am on the 'dark side', I just don't work for you guys."

Hux raised an eyebrow in confusion and his lips pressed into a thin line in annoyance at his tone, "And what exactly does that mean?"

Ben didn't respond, he shut his eyes and tried to shut himself off from the outside world, not oblivious to what was likely to happen to him next.

* * *

Leia was in the middle of a strategy meeting when General Amara knocked on the door of the room and said, "General Organa, I'm sorry but this is urgent."

"Of course," Leia said to Amara before turning to the other members in the room, "We'll continue this later." There was a murmur of agreement before she left the room.

"Leia, this is just in... I-well, you can see for yourself." Amara passed her a holopad and gave her a sad, pitiful glance before leaving her to herself.

Leia swallowed before opening the loaded file, it was clearly Jakku, and she could see Ben run to his X-wing from a tent, he was in there for a few moments before suddenly a blaster bolt hit one of the engines. Leia gasped at this, but was relieved when she saw Ben jump down the ladder, seemingly unharmed. He then looked towards the horizon at something Leia couldn't see from the angle the footage was at, but she could tell that he was worried.

Ben then crouched down and passed BB-8 something, but what it was was blocked from her view by Ben's body, she could see Ben point away into the desert and watched BB-8 roll off. It was when Ben pulled out his lightsaber that Leia began to feel tears well in her eyes. The camera switched angles and now she could see what he was up against, ships and ships full of stormtroopers.

Leia watched as he held his own for such a long time, but she saw him tiring, his movements slowing. She was intrigued to see his fighting style, it was so different from Luke's, vaguely reminiscent of Vader's, but it mostly resembled footage she had seen of a great Jedi Master, Mace Windu. Though Leia couldn't think about anything other than Ben when she saw an unnoticed stormtrooper behind him fire his weapon. Ben turned, but it was too late and the blaster bolt hit his leg. Leia could almost hear his cry of pain echo in her head. Leia's hands were shaking so greatly that she nearly dropped the holopad.

She sat in one of the chairs, eye's fixed on the screen. Ben looked up at one of the stormtrooper leaders, just as they brought their gun down on his head, and when he tried to get up, the motion was repeated until he lied unmoving on the sand covered ground. Then two stormtroopers each grabbed one of his arms and dragged him onto a waiting ship.

Leia could no longer hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. This was her son! And she, the General of _the_ Resistance, was powerless to save him.

It was, of course, at this low moment that Han walked in.

"Leia what's-" Han was about to ask, but Leia shook her head and simply handed him the holopad. She watched him watch what she watched, his face going from confusion to shock to a mix f rage and sadness.

"We have to get him back." Han said determinedly and Chewie exclaimed the same.

"Han, what can we do?" Leia asked, "We don't have the man power to launch an attack of that scale, and even if we did..." Leia trailed off, her words unspoken were understood by Han, which even enraged him more.

"Leia, he is our _son_ we can't just leave him to be tortured by the First Order!"

"What do you want me to do?! Han, he knew what he was getting into, this is _his_ choice, not mine!" Leia shouted back, Han turned to leave an Leia said, "Of course, you just go, like you always do."

Han clenched his jaw even tighter and marched out at nearly jogging pace, a clear destination in mind as he quickly approached the Millennium Falcon.

* * *

Ben's whole body felt like it was on fire, his breathing was ragged and he could feel his blood slowly seeping from his body. As he heard the approaching footsteps of stormtroopers he refused to turn away like a scared child, he instead turned to face whoever it was.

Ben was pleasantly surprised when all of the sudden the restraints on his body were released, and he looked up at the stormtrooper with confusion. The masked man had his blaster pointed at Ben, but he motioned for him to stand.

Perhaps they were moving me somewhere? Ben thought, but as the stormtrooper kept looking around nervously Ben began to hope for a far luckier idea.

"Turn here." The trooper commanded and Ben did so. The stormtrooper removed his helmet and allowed Ben to rest against the wall. "Are you really _Commander Solo_?" The trooper asked excitedly, Ben nodded, not thinking he could talk with how raw his throat felt. "Listen carefully, if you exactly what I say... I can get you out of here."

Ben raised an eyebrow, "What?" He asked weakly.

"This is a rescue. I'm helping you escape, can you fly a TIE fighter?" the trooper asked.

Ben quickly took a harmless peak into the young man's mind just to make sure this wasn't some strange trick, and after determining that this stormtrooper also wanted to escape he nodded, "Yeah I can fly one." Ben said confidently, he wasn't the _best_ pilot in the resistance, but he was certainly in the top three, whether he was second or third was often a topic of debate between himself and Poe.

"Alright, here's the plan. I'm going to escort you to the hangar bay and we're going to get into a ship and then you're going to fly us away, sounds good?" He asked quickly.

Ben nodded firmly, "Let's do this."

Together they made their way through the halls, and only once did Ben have to alter someone's memories of encountering them, after which, the stormtrooper asked him a million excited questions, so Ben saw it as a relief when they got into the hangar and he had to stop talking.

"Okay, okay, stay calm." The trooper said quietly.

"I am calm." Ben said with confusion.

"I'm talking to myself, oh, this way, right here."

They entered the TIE fighter and Ben began to power it up, he was quite pleased to fly one of these again as he had only done so after daring escapes in the past.

"Do you know how to operate the firing system?" Ben asked the trooper.

"I know how to fire a blaster." The trooper responded.

Ben debated with this information for a moment before switching the firing system to his side as well and saying, "You know what it's fine, I got it."

"I can't believe I'm escaping with the legendary Commander Solo!" The trooper exclaimed.

"Well, you obviously know who I am, but who are you?" Ben asked as he was finishing the pre-flight checklist.

"Oh me? I'm FN-2187." He told Ben.

"FN-21... uh, okay this is not going to work for me... FN... Finn? Is it alright if I call you Finn?" Ben asked.

"Finn, Finn, yeah Finn! That's great!" Finn exclaimed.

"Alright, here we go." Ben said, he was slightly concerned about his injuries now that some of the adrenaline was beginning to wear off, but he was sure that escaping in the TIE fighter would get it pumping again.

He tried to speed out of the hangar, but they were tethered to the lauching station. "Dammit!" Ben cried, "Okay, okay I can fix this! I can fix this!" Ben started to press buttons frantically, but nothing worked, he then turned to a different method and started to open fire on the command module, which must have worked, because suddenly they were being trust into space.

Ben quickly began to target and fire at any laser cannons he could find, trying to ignore the cries of excitement coming from behind him. They seemed to be omstly in clear and Ben quickly zoomed forwards.

"Where are you going?" Finn asked with confusion as he saw Ben piloting the ship back towards Jakku.

"Back to Jakku." Ben replied.

"What?!" Finn explained, "Commander Solo-"

Ben cut him off, "Stop calling me that, my name's Ben."

"Sorry, Ben, whAT THE HELL?! WE CAN'T GO BACK TO JAKKU!"

"We have to." Be said simply.

"What could be that important?! We have to get away fro the First Order!"

"There's a droid on Jakku that has a map that leads directly to Luke Skywalker." Be said to get Finn to shut up while he was trying to pilot.

"You have got to be kidding me, -" Finn's next thought was cut off as the ship was suddenly hit by some sort of long range missile.

"Shit!" Ben shouted as she desperately tried to regain control of the TIE fighter, but he could tell that it was too far gone. "Eject Finn, Eject!" Ben shouted as they entered the lower atmosphere of the planet.

Ben watched as they began to descend onto the planets sandy surface, Finn landed first quickly followed by Ben who landed a few meters away. Ben looked over at Finn, who seemed to be unconscious, and he felt himself begin to bleed again, but he just couldn't seem to keep his eyes open, even though he desperately wanted to, the darkness just kept creeping up, until it overwhelmed him.

* * *

Authors Note: Okay I wrote this really fast so I thought I would post this chapter even though it is a little shorter than the others. Please comment/rate/review and I hope you enjoy. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Finn woke with a start, he thirsty, so thirsty, and hot, really hot. He frantically unstrapped himself from the seat and looked around for Ben, he quickly spotted him not far away, it seemed like he was still asleep, and Finn rushed over to him, remembering how injured he was when they escaped from the Finalizer.

"Commander Solo?" Finn asked, gently shaking Ben's shoulder. He didn't make any indication of waking, "Ben?!" Finn called and shook his shoulder a bit harder.

Ben groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, "Finn?" He asked groggily.

"Yeah, it's me Finn. Here just let me..." Finn trailed off as he unclipped the safety belts holding Ben upright.

Ben fell to the sandy ground, and it was only then that Ben realized exactly how badly he was injured. He recalled how they cut into his side, and feeling for his ribs he felt that the wound was still open and bleeding quite a bit, he also suspected that he had a concussion from the repeated hits to the head, and then on top of all of that his leg, which was hit with a blaster bolt the night he was taken, had been left untreated. Those weren't the extent of his physical injuries, nor did they include the psychological ones, but those were the major problems Ben knew he would have to deal with in the search for BB-8 on this planet.

Ben gritted his teeth and tried to stand, he was about to stumble and fall, but Finn caught him, "Woah there, are you alright?" Finn asked.

"My leg is... bad. I'm gonna need your help moving around." Ben said.

"Alright, where are we going?" Finn asked.

"Towards the nearest outpost, there at the very least we might be able to get a ship." Ben explained.

Finn nodded, and they began their trek, although they stopped every one in a while in order for Ben to momentarily rest and for Finn to remove pieces of his hot armor.

"So, how long was I on board the Finalizer?" Ben asked Finn.

"Two weeks." Fin replied and Ben hummed in understanding. "Comm-" He was about to start but the Ben sent him a look, "Ben, thanks for getting us out of there."

Ben looked at Finn strangely before saying, "You're the one that got us out of there."

"Yeah, but you could've just killed me and escaped on your own, but you didn't, you brought me along with you. You saved me, you're a hero!" Finn exclaimed excitedly.

Ben pushed down a smile and said, "I didn't save you, and don't call me a hero."

* * *

When Poe found out that Ben was captured by the First Order on a mission that _he_ was supposed to have been on made him upset, scratch that, very upset. Poe was supposed to take that mission, and he had told Ben about it over lunch in the mess hall, Ben seemed concerned for him since it would be very dangerous. The next day he was told that the mission had been re-assigned, and honestly, Poe was relieved... until he discovered that Ben had taken it himself. Poe and Ben had been very close when they were younger, before he went to train with Luke at the Jedi academy.

Poe remembered a kid who he was always taller than, who had anger management problems, and who knew more than was good for him. Ben's favourite game to play with Poe was space chess, Poe remembered the first time he beat Ben. They were 9 and Ben started accusing him of cheating and started yelling at him, and young Poe swore he would never play with Ben again, but the next day Ben came up to him and apologized and asked him to play, and Poe said yes.

They used to talk about how they would be the best pilots in the resistance one day, and they would compete with each other on the flight simulators. They wanted to be roommates and stay up all night playing space chess and they promised they would always be there for each other. After a few years the two of them became as close as friends could be, they were brothers.

Then Poe's parents died when the boys were 12, and not much before that Ben told him that his parents were sending him away to Luke. Within the span of two months Poe had become completely and utterly alone. But then General Organa offered him Ben's old room, and Han Solo taught him how to fly the Millennium Falcon, and he found some new friends. Through all that time though he never felt like he had begun to take Ben's place in the Organa-Solo's lives, that was until Ben came back for a week when they were 16.

Ben towered over Poe, his dark hair and pale face made him look intimidating. Ben screamed at his mother and father, saying that they sent him away and found a son that they liked better, a son that wanted to help Leia with her work, or a son that followed all the rules that could be laid out.

Han came to Poe after that and told him that that wasn't what had happened, and asked if he thought it was, Poe told him he didn't, but deep down Poe knew that Ben was right, and Poe knew that Leia and Han knew it too.

That was the last time Poe saw Ben until a year after the destruction of the jedi academy when Ben miraculously appeared on the doorstep of the resistance unharmed. The relief Poe felt at seeing his friend, no, his _best_ friend safe after all that time was beyond measure. Of course their relationship never went back to the way it had been before, but they bantered with each other in the halls, occasionally shared a meal in the mess hall, and they had, on several occasions flown into battle with each other.

Poe had seen, more than many others, exactly what Ben Solo was capable of, and so while Poe was afraid for his friend, he knew that he'd be okay. Because a long time ago they promised each other that they would never leave without saying goodbye.

* * *

Finn and Ben were nearly at the outpost, Ben was losing strength fast, and Finn was almost carrying him at this point, and Finn was beginning to become exhausted.

"Water?" Finn asked a passing creature, who simply garbled something back.

Then Finn heard a glorious sound, a creature slurping up water, he slowly turned, Ben's arm wrapped tightly around his shoulder. "Ben, Ben. Water! Water!" He exclaimed to Ben excitedly.

"Uh-huh." Ben mumbled nearly incoherently, but regardless tried to put one foot in front of the other.

Finn carefully put Ben down so he was leaning against the water pit and Finn quickly and greedily slurped up water, not particularly caring that there was some hippo-like creature sharing the watering hole.

While Finn was drinking, Ben was watching a girl in the market, and his eye's widened when he saw BB-8. "Finn, Finn!" Ben said, gently hitting Finn in the back until he turned around, "That's the droid!" He said, pointing.

Finn quickly helped Ben up and they quickly hobbled over to the girl, who was being approached by some shady looking characters, however there was no need to fear as she quickly took care of them.

BB-8 looked in their direction and then started to frantically beep at Rey, "Who? Them?" She asked it, looking at Ben and Finn. "This droid wants to know what happened to his friend." Rey said to Finn.

Finn looked at Ben who just let out a slight moaning noise, pained from the fairly fast movement, so Finn told her for him, "He was captured by the First Order."

Rey looked between the two men with curiosity, "So you're with the resistance then?" She asked, she then glanced down at BB-8 who was looking up at Ben very worriedly.

Ben was looking attentively at something, he then elbowed Finn in the side and pointed to a pair of stormtroopers beginning to turn the corner. They approached someone who then pointed a finger at the three of them, plus BB-8.

"Uh oh." Finn said.

The Stormtroopers fired at them, and Ben stopped the blasts mid-air, allowing them time to move out of the way, but once they were clear he let them go and collapsed in Finn's arms, that last use of energy was all he had left.

"Ben, no! Now is _not_ the time!" Finn cried, and BB-8 nudged Ben and made sad beeps.

"Quick, get your friend up! We need to move!" Rey said, running over to them and helping Finn lift Ben.

After zig-zagging through the market and nearly losing Ben a couple of times Finn cried, "We can't outrun them!"

"We might, in that quad jumped!" Rey cried and pointed to a ship in the not to far distance.

"We need a pilot!" Finn cried over all the noise.

"We've got one!" Rey gestured to herself.

"You?!" Finn asked in confusion, Rey sent him an angry look, "What about that ship?" Finn asked, pointing to a smaller freighter.

"That one's garbage!" Rey cried back.

They were almost there, dragging Ben between them, but then the quad-jumper was suddenly blown up, and Rey looked around and said, "The garbage'll do!"

Quickly they ran to the frieghter and got on board.

"The gunner position is down there!" She said as they put Ben in the co-pilot's seat and strapped him in, not wanting him to fly all over the place.

"Have you ever flown this thing?!" Finn called to Rey.

"No, Ducain just sold it to Unkar last week!" Rey called.

"Great..." Rey could hear Finn say. She would show him.

Rey took a moment to examine her unconscious co-pilot, when BB-8 told her that his friend was a Commander in the resistance she wasn't picturing someone so... young and so dark looking. She admired him though, to be tortured by the First Order, she shivered, it was nearly unthinkable.

She looked away from him and focused on getting them out of there.

* * *

Ben was having a dream. He dreamed that he was on the Falcon with Luke, and his parents, except they were all young. There was another man there, although no one seemed to see him, and now that Ben thought about it, no one seemed to see Ben either.

"Who are you?" Ben asked the old man.

"I've been called many things over many years." He replied cryptically, "Your uncle calls me Old Ben, but your grandfather knew me as Obiwan."

Ben's eyes widened, "I've heard stories about you, you were a great jedi."

"Yes, I suppose I was once." Obiwan looked over Ben thoughtfully, "You are... an enigma to me truth be told. You use the dark side of the force for the good side of the galaxy. I've never seen it before."

"To me, it's never been a light side and a dark side, just the force, and you can choose how to use it, what side you use it for is irrelevant." Ben explained.

"I wish you had been alive to tell your grandfather that, it might have just saved him." Obiwan said, "Just as it has saved you."

Ben squinted his eyes, the scene was becoming blurry, and all of the sudden Luke, Leia and Han were all staring at him.

"Ben wake up!" Leia yelled.

* * *

Ben sat up quickly and gasped in pain.

"Ben! Thank goodness! We're about to be boarded by the First Order, what do we do?" Finn asked frantically.

Ben looked around and was confused about where they were, but ignored it for the time being, "Where's my lightsaber?" He asked Finn and Rey watched in amazement as Finn pulled it from his jacket, "Thanks. Now, both of you go to the pilot module, I'll deal with as many of them as I can and try to clear the ramp, then hopefully we can blast the hangar shield." Ben paused, "If not, you need to take the map and destroy it." Ben said the last part directly to Finn.

"Ben, you can barely stand, I'll stay here with you." Finn said.

Ben turned to Rey, "Alright, take BB-8 with you."

Rey nodded and ran up the hallway to the pilot center.

Ben and Finn pressed themselves against the wall next to the door and as they heard it open, Ben froze the two people that entered and at once recognized them both and let them go. Ben's hands were shaking and he dropped the lightsaber Finn looked at him with concern as he started coughing and bloody dots were left on his hand.

"Ben!" Han cried and Chewie made a distressed roar. He was so beyond overjoyed there was no word to describe it, not only did he get the Falcon back, but he got his son back, alive. But as Han inspected him closer he realized Ben was not looking good, and when the young man in front of him started shouting orders to Han and Chewie, Han listened.

"He needs to lay down!" Finn cried, "His leg is really bad," Finn reported, "Ben what else is wrong?"

"My side..." Be said weakly and trailed off as he shut his eyes tightly in pain.

Finn rolled Ben onto his side slightly, and then it became quite obvious what was wrong, there was a deep, long gash on his right side going across his rib cage.

"Oh Ben." Han said, reminding himself of Leia.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Finn asked with confusion.

"I'm Han Solo, Ben's father." Han replied, that was the first time in a long time he had said the words, and the first in even longer that he didn't add his title at the beginning.

"Wait, like the war hero?" Finn asked.

Han was about to say something, but then Rey, who no one had even noticed had come down from the cockpit, said "Han Solo! So this is the Millennium Falcon! The ship that made the Kessel run in 14 parsecs?!"

"It was 12!" Han said back before turning his attention to Ben.

"He's not doing so good." Finn said.

"Chewie, can you help patch him up?" Han asked.

Chewie replied, "I'm no doctor."

"I know, I know, but something's better than nothing, Chewie look at him." Han said

Chewie carefully bent over and picked Ben up, it suddenly hit him that it has been 14 years since Ben allowed Chewie to pick him up.

"Chewie..." Ben muttered, barely conscious.

"Relax kid, I got you." Chewie said, and Ben shut his eyes, for the first time in two weeks feeling safe to fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Han was sitting next to Ben, who had just woken up, Finn and Rey were sitting across from them at the small table on the Falcon. Finn was explaining how they escaped, putting serious emphasis on Ben's role. Han was absolutely amazed, his son was pretty quickly starting to gain on his own level of coolness. Rey was also impressed, and she wanted to ask Ben a million questions about the Jedi and the force, but now didn't seem like the time.

When Finn was done Ben had an itching question, "How did you lose the Falcon? You had it when I was there just a few weeks ago."

"Well, your mom and I had a disagreement," At this Ben raised an eyebrow, "And I left to go find you."

"You... were going to board a First Order star ship and rescue me?" Ben asked incredulously.

"Not just me! Chewie's here too!" Han said.

"Alright then." Ben said, "So how'd you get _this_ ship?"

"Well, I scammed the Guavian Death Gang and Kanjikulb, well, actually not exactly scammed, I do have Rathtar's on board but-"

"Wait, did you say Rathtar's?!" Finn cried.

"You are an even bigger fool than I already thought you were! You've lead them right to us!" Ben exclaimed standing, supporting himself on the table before pulling a cane with the force over to him.

Han and Finn exchanged confused looks before following Ben out of the ship, he headed straight for a security panel that showed members of both gangs walking the halls of the ship.

"Ohh..." Han said, and Ben glared at him.

"Rey, can you repair the Falcon?" Ben asked her.

"Yes, but it'll take some time." Rey said.

"Time is what we don't have, Finn stay here and help her, and keep an eye on BB-8." Ben said and turned to his father, "You and I are going to confront and distract your friends long enough for Rey to fix the Falcon."

"Oh, and how do you plan on doing that?" Han asked with sarcasm.

"If the worst comes to be I'll just kill them..." Ben deliberated for a moment, not realizing that Han's face had slightly paled, "Or maybe I'll let the Rathtar's loose... we'll see. Chewie, come with us, we'll need you."

Ben then swiftly turned and marched as quickly as he could towards the hallways he saw marked on the screen, Han and Chewie followed behind him.

* * *

Poe was sitting alone in one of the meeting rooms, staring at nothing, thinking of Ben, when Leia walked in and looked at him with sadness.

"Oh! General! I'm sorry I didn't notice you there!" Poe exclaimed.

"No, don't." Leia said as he made a move to stand and salute her.

Poe smiled kindly at her before sitting back down, "I'm sorry I just-"

"I miss him too." Leia said and put a hand on Poe's shoulder, Poe nodded, not knowing what to say. He was facing the loss of a friend, but General Organa was facing the loss of a son. "You know, one of my favourite memories is of you and Ben, when you decided that neither of you were going to go to sleep until you could beat Han in space chess. You fell asleep on each other and Han and I let you two stay like that all night. But then in the morning you two were gone and I freaked out. I looked all over for you two until I finally found you in the mess hall with the pilots, you guys had been listening to their stories all morning." Leia paused. "You two were so cute back then." She said as she ruffled Poe's hair, "Don't worry about Ben, I can feel that he's okay."

Poe nodded and said, "Thanks General."

* * *

"Han Solo, you're a dead man." One of the gang leaders spoke.

"Bala-Tik, what's the problem?" Han asked, Ben raised an eyebrow, he'd like to see his father talk his way out of this.

"The problem is that we loaned you fifty-thousand for this job, and I heard you also borrowed fifty-thousand from Kanjiklub." Bala-Tik said.

"You know you can't trust those little freaks! Come one, how long have we known each other?" Han asked, Ben looked at Chewie who shrugged.

"The question is how much longer will we know each other? We want our money back."

"Ya think hunting rathtar's is cheap, I spent that money." Han said.

"Kanjiklub wants their investment back as well."

"I never made a deal with Kanjiklub!" Han cried.

"Tell that to Kanjiklub." Bala-Tik said.

On the other side of the hallway the blast door began to open, but Ben, who had had enough of this stupid back and forth, used the force to shut it off, and by doing so, drawing attention to himself.

"Hey! The First Order is looking for someone that looks exactly like you, you wouldn't happen to be _Commander Solo_ would you?" He asked and looked between Han and Ben, "Funny, I don't see the similarity." Bala-Tik reached into his jacket and pulled out his blaster.

Then Ben reached out his hand and suddenly all of them were frozen, well not frozen, some of them were trying to struggle out of Ben's grasp, but they were getting no where.

Han grinned and said, "How long can you hold them for?"

"Not long enough." Ben said and grabbed his lightsaber and Han's face froze, realizing that Ben was planning on killing them like this, frozen, helpless. Ben was about to ignite the lightsaber when he looked at his father's face and he shook his head slightly, "Go back to the ship with Chewie and see if Rey has finished the repairs, I'll finish this."

Han nodded and turned and walked down the hallway numbly hearing strangled screams and the buzz of Ben's lightsaber.

" _Han, you knuckle head, how is this any different than if you had let the Rathtar's loose on them?"_ Chewie asked.

"I don't know... it just is, I can't explain it." Han said.

* * *

On the ship Rey had managed to fix the problem, but now had a new one, they needed a kick-start to get the engines going, and nothing Rey had tried so far had worked.

"Hey! Rey, Finn, how's she looking?!" Han called, entering the Falcon.

"It's alright, but we need a kick-start, something to get the engine going." Rey explained.

"Alright I have an idea, I'll be right back." Han said and left the Falcon, leaving Rey and Finn alone again.

"So, you seem to know a lot about Ben." Rey said.

"Oh I do!" Finn explained, "A lot of people in the First Order really idolize him, and uh honestly," Finn said, then looked around to make sure Han wasn't still on the ship, "Everyone knows that without him the resistance would be losing, badly."

"What does he do that's so important?" Rey asked.

"Well, I guess he's willing to to whatever it takes you know. A lot of people will say they'd do anything, but when it comes down to it they can't, but he does. I really respect him for that." Finn said.

"I guess..." Rey trailed off, then the power suddenly surged and the engines started.

Han was about to get on board when he saw Ben hobbling over, and he went over to him.

"Ben, do you need help." He asked.

"No. I'm fine." He replied, not looking at him.

Han was silent for a moment, "Ben what happened back there..."

"Listen, you don't seem to understand." Ben started strongly, "This was your mess, and I finished it. I fixed the problem so that we can all leave here alive, but more importantly so that the information that droid is carrying gets to the right people. I have gone through too much to accept any other outcome, and I will do anything to make sure that it does not fall into the hands of the First Order."

Han was surprised, but also angry, "You think you might want to watch your tone there boy." He said.

"Why because you're my _father_?" Ben spat the word, "You think yourself so above me, you and Organa both. You both claim that you would do anything to _save_ the galaxy, and I used to believe that once, back when you two would leave an eight year old alone for hours on end because you were busy, but you know what? I have done the things that everyone else is afraid to do, and you know why? Because they need to be done, because I would do _anything_ , and _I_ mean it."

Han stood still as Ben walked away from him, and it suddenly struck him that he couldn't remember the last time he told his son that he loved him.

* * *

On the ride to Maz's Ben sat alone in the med bay (aka hold number two), Han and Rey piloted the ship and Chewie and Finn played space chess. Everyone could feel the tense atmosphere between Han and Ben, but no one was brave enough to ask either of them what was going on. So they all rode in silence.

When they finally arrived at Maz's, Finn and Han went to meet Maz in person while Rey and Ben were the lookouts.

Ben kept staring at Rey, who was slightly annoyed by it so after a few minutes she finally asked him, "What?"

"You just... are you force sensitive?" He asked her.

"I, what? No, no I'm not." Rey replied quickly.

"Are you sure?" Ben asked.

"Well, how would I know?" Rey asked.

Ben paused for a moment before saying, "Can I take a look?"

Rey didn't really understand, but she nodded anyways, trusting him, he reached out and touched her face, his fingers lightly brushing her forehead and his thumb resting on her cheek. She started feeling something strange, like a pressure in the back of her head, and before she had time to even understand what was happening.

*Flashback/forward/?*

Suddenly Rey was in a hallway, Ben, who was seeing this as well, immediately recognized this as Cloud City. The hallway began to twist and warp before Rey was thrust into a grassy field, and in the distance she could see a building burning, Ben knew that they were watching the Jedi academy burn. Rey turned and saw Luke reaching out to R2D2 while watching the flames. Then it was raining and Luke disappeared, Rey was suddenly surrounded by seven men all in black, one of them was about to strike her, but then a red lightsaber cut through them, and as the man fell it revealed that it was Ben who had killed him. Suddenly the scene changed and it was a young Rey, being pulled away from someone by Unkar Plutt. "No! Come back!" She cried. Then suddenly she was on a snowy planet in the freezing cold, snow was falling, she could hear lightsabers in the distance and ran to see what was going on. She saw Ben fighting a masked figure, and suddenly the ground shook, knocking Rey over, and suddenly it was over.

*End Flashback/forward/?*

Rey and Ben both jumped back from each other.

"What the hell was that?!" Rey cried.

Ben simply looked at her with a surprised expression, "You were there," He said, "How, how could you have been there?" He asked.

"Been where? What happened?!"

"I don't know, I really don't know." Ben said, "The only thing I do know is that you have the force, that's for sure."

"What?" Rey asked, this was too much to handle all at once.

Ben looked at her and said, "I don't know who you are, or what that was, but... I think you should have this." Ben said and he reached behind him in his jacket for something and then he handed it to her. It was a lightsaber, "This was Luke's, I've never used it because well, I have my own, and it never really felt right, but this, this feels right."

Rey looked at him with wide eyes, and she reached out a took the lightsaber into her hands. Something within her hummed, as if it was agreeing with her choice.

"I can show you how to use it if you'd like, although," Ben looked around, "Maybe not here."

Rey's eyes widened and she nodded, "I would really like that... thanks... Ben." She said and smiled.

Ben looked at her and smiled, he felt... something, but he wasn't sure what. He was just sure that he liked it when Rey smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

When Ben was 5 Leia went back to work full time, after all, the new republic wasn't going to run itself. Ben was not happy with this idea one bit and decided that he would not let her go.

"Ben, let go of your mother's leg." Han said, trying very hard to take the kid seriously.

"No!" Ben cried.

"Ben... why don't you want me to go back to work?" Leia asked.

"Because then you won't come back! Just like daddy!" Ben said, tears forming in the young childs eyes.

Han and Leia looked at each other with concern, "What do you mean kid? I'm right here."

"No you're not. You always want to leave and have an adventure. You're never here, what's here isn't good enough for you! That's why you keep leaving! And that's why mommy's leaving too!" Ben yelled.

"Ben that's not true, your father loves you very much, he doesn't like leaving us, and I don't like leaving you either." Leia said calmly.

Ben looked at Leia curiously for a moment, "You think you need to go back but you don't! You saved them from the Death Star, what more do they want?!" Leia, upon hearing those words, fell silent. How could he have known that she had often thought the same thing?

Han was confused at what was going on in Leia's head, she was staring at Ben with an expression of... fear.

"Ben, listen, I love you. I go away because it's my job, and your mother needs to go because it's her job. One day you'll leave because it's _your_ job. I know you want mommy to stay, but you and I can spend all day together and we'll do whatever you want."

Ben looked at Han for a moment before responding, "I was wrong."

"Good, that's very good Ben, only a real man can ad-" Han was cut off by Ben continuing.

"Here is good enough for you, it's all you ever wanted, but you're afraid, afraid you'll mess it up." Ben said.

Han's eyes widened and he turned to look at Leia who looked very faint.

"Ben, I don't think your mother is feeling very well, I'm going to get her to bed alright, can you let go of her leg?" Han asked.

"You mean mommy isn't leaving?! Yay!" Ben cried out in triumph before letting go of Leia and going to play with some of his toys.

"Leia? Princess?" Han asked gently as he put a hand on Leia's shoulder, Leia had been holding herself together as to not scare Ben, but once he left the room she melted. She started to cry and Han was at a loss, "Leia what's wrong?"

"Ben, he... he..." Leia started and stopped again.

"What?" Han asked.

"He used the Force, he used the Force and he could read our minds!" Leia said.

Han was shocked, Ben had never shown any indication of even being sensitive to the Force, but now Leia was saying that Ben was strong enough to read their minds?!

"Leia, are you sure?" Han asked.

Leia nodded sadly, still crying. Han hugged her close as she repeated, "I just wanted him to have a normal life, I just wanted him to be normal."

Little did the pair know that Ben was peeking into the room through the crack of a door, and heard his mothers chant. Did they not want him? Were they afraid of him? These were questions that would haunt the young boy for years to come.

* * *

When Ben was 10 Leia started to get terrible nightmares, most of which revolved around Ben. The one she had had that night was particularly bad.

 _She saw Ben standing in a spotlight with his back to her. There were shadows moving in the dark, and Leia could hear whispering, but she couldn't make out what was being said._

 _"Ben!" Leia called to him._

 _He turned to face her and he had a pained look on his face, "Help me, please help me." The darkness was encroaching on him, "Mom please!" He called._

 _Leia ran forwards, but it was too late, he was already shrouded in darkness, she could no longer see him, "Ben?! Ben?!" She screamed._

Then she woke up to Han's reassuring voice, "Leia, it's alright, just a bad dream."

"Ben, Ben where's Ben?" Leia asked frantically.

"Leia, he's asleep. It's 4 in the morning." Han said.

Leia nodded, she wanted to go check on him, but she had to get up early for work, and she knew it would be a long day of senate meetings. So she went back to sleep.

 _"Mom please! Help!" Ben cried a pale hand reaching through the darkness. No one was there to grab it._

* * *

Okay, just a short one for you guys, I'm going to go see The Last Jedi on friday, so I'll be able to flesh out the plot a bit better after that, so prepare for frequent updates. Big thanks to everyone who favourited/followed/reviewed! Leaving comments/reviews is a big motivator!


	7. Chapter 7

"So Han Solo is your father?" Rey asked with excitement.

Ben clenched his jaw slightly before replying "Yes."

"Wow! What must've been amazing!" Rey said.

Ben looked at her and said, "You think he's like the father you never had... he would have disappointed you."

Rey looked at him with confusion "Why do you hate him?"

"I don't hate my father." Ben replied, the pair fell into silence until Ben saw Finn walking away from the cantina, "Hey, isn't that your boyfriend?" Ben asked her.

Rey blushed furiously and said, "He's not my boyfriend."

"Go." Ben said, and smiled slightly.

Rey stood and ran after Finn.

Ben sighed and looked up at the sky, that was when he felt something strange, like there was serious trouble. He stood and went inside Maz's cantina to warn his father.

He approached the table and Han looked up at him in surprise, "Something's wrong."

"What is it?" Han asked in confusion.

Ben shut his eyes for a moment, and behind them he saw the Hosnian system, Ben opened his eyes widely in shock and ran outside, Han quickly followed.

They looked up and saw red beams quickly moving across the sky, Han and Ben watched as the beams found their targets. Ben felt a sharp pain in his head and fell to his knees.

"Ben!" Han cried and knelt beside his son, who was clenching his jaw to prevent pain sounds from escaping his lips. "Ben what's going on?" Han asked.

Ben struggled to breathe properly as he struggled to say, "The Hosnian system... it's-it's gone."

Han's eyes widened as he was reminded of Ben's namesake, Obiwan, or Old Ben as they knew him then.

*Flashback*

They were on the Falcon when Old Ben stumbled, Luke caught him.

"Ben? What's going on?" Luke asked.

Old Ben gasped and shuddered before saying, "I've felt a great disturbance in the force, it's as if millions of voices cried out in terror and then were suddenly silenced."

Han remembered sharing a strange look with Luke, he remembered thinking that it was mumbo jumbo...

*End Flashback*

Now that it was his _son_ who was feeling it, Han was more inclined to try to understand. Not like Ben was going to tell him.

"Ben are you sure you're alright? How about your leg? Or your ribs?" Han asked.

Ben looked at him and raised an eyebrow, "I'm fine." He tried to stand, but stopped after a moment because of the pain in his leg.

"Fine my ass." Han said, "Listen kid, I-"

"Oh shit." Ben interrupted, looking into the distance, seeing First Order ships flying in.

Han quickly turned to look, and Ben took the opportunity to stand without his father seeing how much pain it caused him. Ben wasn't exactly sure how he was going to be able to fight in this condition, but he was going to have to.

When Han turned back to Ben, Ben said, "You need to get BB-8 to the Resistance."

"I _need_ to get you home." Han said with annoyance.

"No, no." Ben shook his head, and Han swore he saw a smirk, "I didn't kill those people for nothing, I didn't get tortured for weeks for nothing. Get the droid, and if you have time, get me." Ben paused and reached into the force for strength, he pushed his pain into it, and in return he received strength, Ben took a deep breath and as the first shuttle was about to land he ignited his light-saber. "Go." He said to Han.

Han looked at his son, feeling an unfamiliar emotion, it was as if he was about to lose him. But Han had never been an emotionally intuitive man, so he did what Ben told him, and went to go find BB-8, leaving Ben alone.

* * *

Poe was ecstatic, well, maybe that wasn't quite the word. Not only was his droid, BB-8, safe, and with the map, but Ben was there, and safe too. Poe had been present when the call had come in, "Alert the Resistance, their missing droid is here, along with the First Order fugitive Commander Solo."

Poe was shocked, Ben was alive? He could hardly believe it. He was at the mercy of the First Order for more than a week, he managed to escape, **and** he had found BB-8. Poe could tell he was injured, even from a distance, he was moving slowly, and he wasn't showboating with his light-saber like he usually did.

With deadly precision Poe fired at the storm troopers that were attacking Ben, who looked up in surprise. He had been so caught up in the fight that he hadn't even noticed that the resistance fleet had come to help them.

Ben glanced over and saw that Chewie and his father were being overwhelmed, so he started making his way over to them. Unfortunately, along the way, another ship full of storm troopers landed in between them.

Han was worried about Ben, he was surprised the kid could even stand, let alone walk and fight. Han glanced over and saw Ben start making his way over to them, which was a relief, Han could then keep a better eye on him, but then a shuttle landed in between them. Han motioned for Chewie to follow him, and he started to make his way towards the shuttle. However, he then heard Rey crying "Help! Help!"

Han turned to see Rey getting overpowered by two storm troopers who were dragging her to a shuttle, Han turned back to Ben, just in time to see him get hit with some sort of electric restraint.

Ben shouted in pain before he fell to the ground, unconscious. Rey continued to scream and fight the storm troopers.

Han took an agonizing breath and ran forwards shooting the storm troopers... carrying a screaming Rey. She looked up in surprise at Han, before looking to where Ben was being taken aboard a ship.

Han tried to get there before the ship took off, but it left before he could get there. Chewie cried, " _Ben!_ " in Shyriiwook.

"Ben, I'm so sorry." Han said quietly as he watched the shuttle fly away back to the First Order.

* * *

Leia had demanded that she go down to the planet to greet the survivors. Usually this would not have happened, but given the personal circumstances, no one had protested it. The shuttle door opened, and Leia was very anxious to see Ben and Han which was why when she didn't see Ben, and saw the guilty look on Han's face, she knew he was gone.

"Leia..." Han said sadly.

"What happened Han?" Leia asked, "Where's Ben?"

"They took him." Han said and shook his head, "This is all my fault."

Leia shook her head and embraced her husband. She tried to connect with Ben through the force, but even when unconscious his mental walls were up so high that Leia couldn't see anything.

"Ben's tough, he'll find a way out. He always does." Leia said.

Han wasn't too sure about that, Leia hadn't seen how badly Ben had been injured before, and Sith only knew what the First Order would do to him now.

The pair boarded the shuttle in silence, and Han wondered where Rey and Finn were although he then remembered that he saw them board another shuttle.

"I left him, I left him alone again." Han said.

"What are you talking about?" Leia asked.

"He had told me that he wasn't okay, and I _forgot,_ how could I have forgotten? And just now, I had a choice, between him and Rey, and I helped Rey. Why did I do that?" Han asked himself.

"You chose Rey?" Leia asked, not really believing her ears.

"Leia, he had told me to make sure the map was safe at all costs, he said he didn't want everything that had happened to be for nothing." Han told her trying to justify himself, although he knew that he couldn't.

Leia simply shook her head, "You've always done this to him, never been there when he really needed you."

"Woah big words coming from the woman who thought it was okay to leave a seven year old alone by himself all day!" Han retorted.

"What was I supposed to do Han?! You weren't there!" Leia cried.

"Well what were you expecting?!" Han shouted loudly, startling the other members of the shuttle.

"Something better than this." Leia said quietly.

* * *

Poe jumped from his X-wing in the hangar on the Resistance base and headed straight to the debriefing room.

He looked around for Ben, but he didn't see him, maybe he was taken to the medbay? He saw Leia and walked over to her.

"General, where's Ben? Is he okay?" Poe asked.

Leia looked downcast, "Poe, Ben was taken again."

Poe looked down and nodded slightly, "I'm sorry General."

"It's alright Poe, we did our best but, well you know, Ben's had a death wish since he was a toddler." Leia said trying to lift the mood, but the words 'death wish' only managed to make both of them quiet. Leia then locked eyes with Han, who was waiting outside with Rey and Finn outside. "I'm sorry Poe, I have to deal with something, but please, have dinner with me tonight, we haven't talked in some time."

"I will, thanks General." Poe said and smiled slightly at her before turning and leaving.

Leia left the room as well, and stopped in the hallway where Han was waiting with the new recruits.


End file.
